Gestational age: 29 weeks +1 day

Hi, friends. These two days have been a mixed bag of news – largely a wonderful one. A bag full of mostly kittens. Or the happy noises Lucy makes while she’s eating spaghetti.

Yesterday Dr. Hayes granted us our first empirical goal post: If Baby C continued to show just intermittent or infrequently absent diastolic flow, we could hope for a scheduled delivery at 32 weeks (on March 5). If he spotted <50% reverse flow in a single scan, the goal would be birth at 30 weeks (on Feb 26). And if we digressed into reverse >50%, delivery would be immediate.

So hope! What a gift is hope. That these silly acrobats will have a real chance to continue gaining weight, to fortifying their brains and lungs, to building the muscle needed to breathe and swallow all on their own.

And then – today. This morning our daily ultrasound revealed more significantly absent diastolic flow, which Dr. Hayes very distinctly did not like. In reaction he reinstated my overnight monitoring (and with it, revoked sleep, but alas), which signifies increased and real risk. I will speak with him tomorrow to get a better sense of where we are.

Before closing out, a few more kittens: Lucy exchanges her first Valentines tomorrow (lovingly assembled alongside Gigi)! A card and slap bracelet for every classmate – these kids won’t know what hit them. And Casey brought me little Valentines to pass out to the nursing and hospital staff, to celebrate the day and to say: Thank you. I hope I’ll be in your charge for three more difficult, promising, impossibly-possible weeks.